My Turning Point
"I don't know when that road
turned into the one I'm on."
Jackson Browne - Running on Empty
Well, that's not entirely true. As a matter of fact, I have a pretty definite point. I can narrow it down to roughly a two-month time period. June or July of 1982. I know this because I remember I was 15 and had not had my birthday yet. And because it happened at Silver Point Beach Club in Atlantic Beach, NY.
Yes, there was a girl involved, and no, it doesn't involve romance (despite that being the initiative). The moment I gathered up all my teenage bravado and talked to Lynn in the beach club swimming pool is the point in my life when New York became a temporary home for me. Not the turning point you were expecting, eh?
Mom and Dad did their best and were wonderful parents, but I never did like my home in Far Rockaway. Cold winters and a town that was on a downslide were things I hated. Across the train tracks were the Redfern Welfare Projects. Our garage was broken into more times than I can count. I had five bicycles stolen in as many years -- three from that locked garage, one from my back yard while I went inside to use the bathroom, and one directly from me by three kids, one with a wrench poised over my head. But Far Rockaway was all I knew.
Our neighborhood, itself, was really great. Like a giant extended family. Standard New York City stereotypes like moms yelling out the front door for the kids to come home for dinner. If they called too many times, another mom would relay the call. We played tag or hide and seek on a grand scale. Three city blocks -- back yards, trees, and garage roofs (and a nursing home roof at times) were all part of the playing field. Large numbers of kids would swarm the ice cream truck whenever it came by (I don't know how old I was before I read the truck and realized it was the "Good Humor Man" and not the "Gujooma Man").
But there was the rest of the town. My younger sister needed our German Shepherd to go trick-or-treating on Halloween to avoid her bag being snatched. Friends' parents considered it "character building" when their kids were jumped between school and home. I don't know whether it was me or my parents who were more afraid of me going to public high school. I wasn't big, nor was I in anyway athletically inclined or a fighter. So I commuted about an hour each way to/from school.
But then I met this girl. We never dated. She lived in upstate New York and was just in town visiting a cousin (a friend of our family). So we started writing to each other (pre-internet, stamps, envelopes, and paper!). We had a great time writing back and forth, and for Christmas, she "gave me" to a friend of hers, Holly. So, I had two pen-pals in upstate New York.
Holly and Lynn were both in band at school. There was a big banquet coming up, and a friend of thiers wasn't dating anyone at the time, so Holly invited me to visit and be her date. I had such a great time. They had interesting preconceptions about city life (i.e. "The Warriors") which were quite exaggerated. And I had never met people as outwardly friendly and "unchallenging" as their crowd. Holly's dad took me into work, where I experienced CompuServe CB (chat) for the first time. Keep in mind, this wasn't rural. Just more suburban than I'd experienced. I came home with two more addresses and two more pen-pals.
But I had been outside the "fish bowl". I went into a really deep slump, knowing what else was out there. I wonder if my parents second-guessed their choice to permit me to go on that trip. Or if I ever expressed to them why that trip left me so unhappy. But I knew I was leaving the city when the means presented themselves.
Seven years later, I had stopped writing to all four girls except Lynn. I had graduated college, and had restricted my job search to companies in the San Diego area. I ended up working in Newark, NJ at a really great company in a very good job (that's another story). I was very happy at work. I was getting ready to find an apartment near home, and hopefully near the Long Island Railroad. But I was worried I was falling into a track that would delay my "escape" indefinitely.
Then the news came. Our department was moving to either Atlanta or Orlando. To show you how great our department was, they put it up to a majority vote as to which. Orlando it was. I was offered two choices... find another job (in or out of the company) or take a nice relocation package and move to Florida.
Since the turning point is the subject of all this, I'll simply relay the chain of events since then... I was in Florida 8 months before I met Michelle. We got married. My company split up and my job moved out of state. I chose to take a severance package and went to Disney. I had a wonderful time working for Disney, but started spotting TV ads for The DAVE School. Michelle and I tried to work out some plan for me to learn 3D animation but couldn't. If you've been reading for a while, you know the rest. My Dad, in passing, provided the means for me to follow that dream. That path took me to where I am today.
What strikes me about this is how impressed people are that I left. People still in my hometown have commented, and I quote, "We always knew you'd be the one to get out!" What was it, prison? Just about all of my family has since left that town for "The Island". Long Island does offer a lifestyle similar to what I experienced at age 15. But it also has winter. That was the other side of the equation for me.
I love visiting New York. I miss the city and the beaches -- I haven't found anything to compare with the Long Island beaches. My sisters' homes (and aunts' and uncles' homes) and their neighborhoods are wonderful, and they're not at all like the town surrounding our old home. While I kind of pulled at them to follow me when I left, I am sometimes glad they didn't because I wouldn't have such close family to draw me back.
Still, I'm glad that I had that glimpse outside my life and that it prompted me to act. It really opened up the door to changes that have put my life on a good track. If I'd chickened out that day (at least a 50/50 chance at that age), where would I be now?
turned into the one I'm on."
Jackson Browne - Running on Empty
Well, that's not entirely true. As a matter of fact, I have a pretty definite point. I can narrow it down to roughly a two-month time period. June or July of 1982. I know this because I remember I was 15 and had not had my birthday yet. And because it happened at Silver Point Beach Club in Atlantic Beach, NY.
Yes, there was a girl involved, and no, it doesn't involve romance (despite that being the initiative). The moment I gathered up all my teenage bravado and talked to Lynn in the beach club swimming pool is the point in my life when New York became a temporary home for me. Not the turning point you were expecting, eh?
Mom and Dad did their best and were wonderful parents, but I never did like my home in Far Rockaway. Cold winters and a town that was on a downslide were things I hated. Across the train tracks were the Redfern Welfare Projects. Our garage was broken into more times than I can count. I had five bicycles stolen in as many years -- three from that locked garage, one from my back yard while I went inside to use the bathroom, and one directly from me by three kids, one with a wrench poised over my head. But Far Rockaway was all I knew.
Our neighborhood, itself, was really great. Like a giant extended family. Standard New York City stereotypes like moms yelling out the front door for the kids to come home for dinner. If they called too many times, another mom would relay the call. We played tag or hide and seek on a grand scale. Three city blocks -- back yards, trees, and garage roofs (and a nursing home roof at times) were all part of the playing field. Large numbers of kids would swarm the ice cream truck whenever it came by (I don't know how old I was before I read the truck and realized it was the "Good Humor Man" and not the "Gujooma Man").
But there was the rest of the town. My younger sister needed our German Shepherd to go trick-or-treating on Halloween to avoid her bag being snatched. Friends' parents considered it "character building" when their kids were jumped between school and home. I don't know whether it was me or my parents who were more afraid of me going to public high school. I wasn't big, nor was I in anyway athletically inclined or a fighter. So I commuted about an hour each way to/from school.
But then I met this girl. We never dated. She lived in upstate New York and was just in town visiting a cousin (a friend of our family). So we started writing to each other (pre-internet, stamps, envelopes, and paper!). We had a great time writing back and forth, and for Christmas, she "gave me" to a friend of hers, Holly. So, I had two pen-pals in upstate New York.
Holly and Lynn were both in band at school. There was a big banquet coming up, and a friend of thiers wasn't dating anyone at the time, so Holly invited me to visit and be her date. I had such a great time. They had interesting preconceptions about city life (i.e. "The Warriors") which were quite exaggerated. And I had never met people as outwardly friendly and "unchallenging" as their crowd. Holly's dad took me into work, where I experienced CompuServe CB (chat) for the first time. Keep in mind, this wasn't rural. Just more suburban than I'd experienced. I came home with two more addresses and two more pen-pals.
But I had been outside the "fish bowl". I went into a really deep slump, knowing what else was out there. I wonder if my parents second-guessed their choice to permit me to go on that trip. Or if I ever expressed to them why that trip left me so unhappy. But I knew I was leaving the city when the means presented themselves.
Seven years later, I had stopped writing to all four girls except Lynn. I had graduated college, and had restricted my job search to companies in the San Diego area. I ended up working in Newark, NJ at a really great company in a very good job (that's another story). I was very happy at work. I was getting ready to find an apartment near home, and hopefully near the Long Island Railroad. But I was worried I was falling into a track that would delay my "escape" indefinitely.
Then the news came. Our department was moving to either Atlanta or Orlando. To show you how great our department was, they put it up to a majority vote as to which. Orlando it was. I was offered two choices... find another job (in or out of the company) or take a nice relocation package and move to Florida.
Since the turning point is the subject of all this, I'll simply relay the chain of events since then... I was in Florida 8 months before I met Michelle. We got married. My company split up and my job moved out of state. I chose to take a severance package and went to Disney. I had a wonderful time working for Disney, but started spotting TV ads for The DAVE School. Michelle and I tried to work out some plan for me to learn 3D animation but couldn't. If you've been reading for a while, you know the rest. My Dad, in passing, provided the means for me to follow that dream. That path took me to where I am today.
What strikes me about this is how impressed people are that I left. People still in my hometown have commented, and I quote, "We always knew you'd be the one to get out!" What was it, prison? Just about all of my family has since left that town for "The Island". Long Island does offer a lifestyle similar to what I experienced at age 15. But it also has winter. That was the other side of the equation for me.
I love visiting New York. I miss the city and the beaches -- I haven't found anything to compare with the Long Island beaches. My sisters' homes (and aunts' and uncles' homes) and their neighborhoods are wonderful, and they're not at all like the town surrounding our old home. While I kind of pulled at them to follow me when I left, I am sometimes glad they didn't because I wouldn't have such close family to draw me back.
Still, I'm glad that I had that glimpse outside my life and that it prompted me to act. It really opened up the door to changes that have put my life on a good track. If I'd chickened out that day (at least a 50/50 chance at that age), where would I be now?
posted by Eric at 21:30
3 Comments:
What a sweet story of how you came to be where you are right now, Eric. Funny how I too was able to 'escape' from a similar area, with my Mom getting us out when I was a mere toddler. Still have extended family back in NY, but no desire to return for more than a short visit. The world is way too big!
Anyway, this blog just goes to show how very blessed you are with your family and career. Keep reaching for the stars... you never know, you might just catch one. :)
Isn't it interesting how two very different people can have very different paths that nevertheless still have points in common.
Aynde, Cara and I left too: from the tiny town to bigger venues. Similar adventures.. almost in photonegative. Weiiiiird!
Lovely story :)
That is so cool. We moved from Arizona to Arkansas when I was a kid. I wasn't used to snow, the first year it snowed like three feet and it was weird. I'm not fond of cold then or now. It's not like it snows that often or gets that cold in Arkansas, but it is odd.
When was the last time you communicated with your pen pal?
I can't remember the last letter I wrote. Although I do send out handwritten Christmas cards once a year. I used to love to get letters in the mail. I had two pen pals from Japan.
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